


one step at a time (one foot in front of the other)

by riots



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Mass Effect 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 04:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riots/pseuds/riots
Summary: There’s a part of him that wants to press his nose to the shuttle window, follow the descent until it’s hit ground and nuke it from orbit. He wants nothing but ash left, a retribution for his suffering.feron and liara make a narrow escape.





	one step at a time (one foot in front of the other)

**Author's Note:**

> a few months ago, i had the pleasure of participating in the [Beyond the Citadel Mass Effect charity zine](https://beyondthecitadelzine.tumblr.com/), celebrating all the non-Citadel races!! this is the piece i wrote. 
> 
> as ever, all my love to m&s

The shuttle rattles through the stormy atmosphere of Hagalaz, and Feron steadies himself against the pressure of their ascent. He can feel the pound of blood in his frill and his fingertips, the adrenaline of their near escape making his heart race. He presses one hand against the window, watching the Shadow Broker’s ship shrink against the clouds. Not long now.

Behind the pilot’s seat, Liara grips the controls, speaking quietly to an agent in the system about their getaway. They’d had less than two hours notice before Cerberus made orbit, and she hadn’t batted an eye, just put their contingency plan into motion and kept them moving. Feron would never pretend he’s an expert on Liara T’soni, but since she wiped out the Shadow Broker and took the reins of his empire, she’s thrived. She’s a far cry from what he’d expected her to be when he was contracted to lead her to Shepard. 

And he likes it. He glances over his shoulder at her, at the easy, confident curve of her lips, and her gaze on him is weighted with her concern. Always worried about him, even now, even months later. Not necessary, but...it’s nice. He nods, and she returns the gesture, a little flick of her chin. “Do it,” she says to her agent, and he turns back to the window.

Feron watches the Cerberus shuttles dart closer to the Shadow Broker’s base, the big cruiser settling above it, nice and close. He holds his breath. 

The whole gambit was his plan, but the explosion still almost takes him by surprise. Their shuttle rocks in the shockwave and he stumbles, steadying himself against the window, never tearing his eyes away. He watches the chain reaction of destruction, racing from the engine down the body of the ship, taking the cruiser down with it. His ears ring with a vicious kind of satisfaction. It’s _gone_.

They’ve known that Cerberus was closing in for months. The base was never space-worthy, and it wasn’t quite enough time to build themselves something new, but it was enough time for the two of them to put their heads together and come up with a contingency plan, a get-out-of-jail-free card, as the humans say. And if it came with the destruction of the place he spent two years getting tortured in, well, that’s just a bonus.

It’s been months since Liara became the broker, and Feron’s spent most of it on the base, recuperating. She’d offered to find him medical treatment, somewhere expensive and discreet, because it wasn’t like they couldn’t afford it now. Feron had turned her down. He can’t be of use from a medical facility half a galaxy away, and he of all people knows the stakes of what’s coming. He wants to help, he _needs_ to.

The shuttle shakes again, and this time Feron’s ready for it. He can’t tear his eyes away from the Shadow Broker’s ship, engulfed in flames and headed for the surface of Hagalaz. He feels triumphant. He feels...light. Like a weight he didn’t even know he was carrying around has been lifted off his chest. That fucking place is _gone_. He smiles savagely.

It’s not a perfect victory, of course. They’re still on the run in a shuttle, surrounded by rattling equipment, scrambling to reorganize their control from a new location. And for him? Well. He’s drell. He won’t ever be able to leave what happened to him behind, not really. Perfect memory is one hell of a thing. It’s easiest to just push it all to the back of his head and leave it there. Each time he touches on those memories, they pull him down to drown in it. The electric agony skittering through his limbs, the raw ache of his throat from screaming - it’s all there, fresh, immediate. ‘Perfect’. Feron shakes his head.

He still feels it in the here and now, too. He flexes his hands, ignoring the trembling in his fingers, pretending the numbness in his fingertips is normal. A new normal, at least. Gaze still tracking the wreckage of the Shadow Broker’s base, he snorts. It was a good thing he was always better with his words, because he wasn’t much of a shot anymore. Maybe, if the world didn’t end, he’d be able to do something about that.

He’s still clenching his fists, staring out the window, when Liara speaks. “Feron?” she says, and he realizes she’s been talking for a while.

“Sorry,” he says, turning. There’s not much to see at this point, the stormy atmosphere covering all but the red glow of the fire, and they’re almost out in space. There’s a part of him that wants to press his nose to the shuttle window, follow the descent until it’s hit ground and nuke it from orbit. He wants nothing but ash left, a retribution for his suffering. A waste of resources, though. Shame.

He focuses on Liara’s face and his frill warms when he sees her watching him, eyes thoughtful. “Sorry,” he says again. The rocking of the shuttle abruptly smoothes out as they hit vacuum, and the sudden silence seems loud in his ears.

Liara raises a hand. “No,” she tells him firmly. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.” Her lips twist - she’s mad at herself. “I should have known you would need a minute.”

Feron looks back at the window, at Hagalaz’ receding horizon, and he grimaces. He’s spent months slowing her down. He’s so sick of it. “You were asking me a question?” he says.

She hesitates. “I wanted your opinion,” she says finally. “I know we’d discussed going to Terapso and using the tunnel system, but Calamis has managed to secure us a ship that can take the storms around Zada Ban.”

Another storm planet. A risk in following old patterns, but Cerberus would be scrambling after their loss. Plus, it would take time to integrate themselves into Terapso, muscle their way through the local warlords. “Sound idea,” he says. He lets his fingertips drag across the windowpane before he straightens, weaving his way through their precious cargo to take the passenger seat next to her. “But you don’t need me to tell you that. You’re the boss, after all.”

Liara favours him with a wan smile. “I am,” she agrees. She spares a moment to key through a message to one of her agents. “Still, I value your input.” They haven’t known each other very long, not in the grand scheme of things. But somehow, he’s still managed to learn her tics, learn that when she pushes her shoulders back and lifts her chin, she is trying to be brave. He leans back in his seat and waits. “You’ve been here since the start,” she says, and he’s surprised by how soft her voice is. Every time she lets herself be vulnerable like this with him, something unnameable rises in his ribs, makes him want to do everything in his power to pay back all that she’s done for him. He’ll never forget it. “There are few people I can count on now, who know all the pieces of the puzzle.” 

“It’s lonely at the top,” he says.

“I suppose it is,” she says, and she’s smiling, but it’s wistful.

For a moment, Feron considers putting his hand over hers. She carries a heavy weight, and it’s not like he didn’t play a significant part in putting it on her shoulders. Still...he shakes his head, tucks his fingers under his arms instead. He already owes her so much. He doesn’t want to assume. “Trust your instincts,” he says, and he shrugs. “They haven’t lead you wrong yet.”

It’s instinct that lead her to trust him, after all. And Commander Shepard, too, for all her wild stories about coming back from the dead and Reapers coming for them all. It’s hard to believe it all, but with the Shadow Broker’s network collecting all of the pieces, it’s impossible to deny. Something is coming. And they have to prepare.

“Thank you,” Liara says. She tips her head back and exhales. “I just - I worry. There are a lot of strings to gather as Shadow Broker, and if I’m to be any help to Shepard at all, I have to keep it all together.” Her omnitool chimes and she shifts the shuttle into autopilot, freeing her hands to send off a message. 

“You can do it,” Feron says, more fervently than he plans, and she blinks at him, startled. “If anyone can, it’s you.” His frill warms, and he shifts in his seat. “Two years, and you never stopped looking for me. That’s tenacious.” And unforgettable. She’s one of a kind, Liara T’soni.

“Tenacious,” she says slowly, a smile building at the corners of her mouth. “I like the sound of that.” Her eyes flick to meet his. “And when it’s you saying it, I think I can almost believe it.”

He doesn’t have an answer for that. His second set of lids flicker and she notices, her smile widening. After a moment’s thought, he reaches out one shaking hand to her, palm up, and she takes it, curling her fingers into his and stilling his trembling.

Now this, this is a memory he’ll dip back into with no guilt.They lapse into a comfortable silence, and Feron listens to the hum of the shuttle engine, focused on Liara’s pulse, faint beneath his palm. The adrenaline is starting to wear off now. Their position is still precarious, and he’s not sure he’ll relax until they’re orbiting Zada Ban, but they’re here. Cerberus will be in disarray after the loss for a while, and as long as they can cover their tracks well, they should have a moment to gather themselves. He tips his head back against the seat, eyes sliding shut, and he feels lighter than he has in years. He smiles.


End file.
